Tears of Blood
by SiriuslyPadfoot12
Summary: This is the story of what happened that fateful night James and Lily Potter were murdered, and what became of their dear friend Sirius. What did he do, that night? Where did he go? How did he feel? This is Sirius's tale. (Sirius's P.O.V.)


Tears of Blood

By Meagan, a.k.a. Padfoot

            Screaming. Flashes of green light. Pain. Pain beyond pain. Tears. Death coming. Life slipping.

            Black.

            My eyes snapped open.

            Something was wrong.

            Something was terribly, horribly wrong.

            I threw the covers back off my bed and stood quickly. My robes were all ready on. I always wore them to bed. There was no telling where I would have to go and when in these dark times.

            As I strode past the mirror, I caught a quick glimpse of myself. Tall, dark, and handsome the girls at Hogwarts had called me. My untidy, black hair fell to the collar of my robes. Only years ago had I begun to grow a goatee. Lily Potter, my best friend's wife, was actually the one to suggest me growing one.

            My face was pale in the steady moonlight. Eyes so brown they were almost black glinted. Proudly arched cheekbones made my face bold and noble. My eyebrows, accented and dark in my face, were furrowed. I pulled my lips back in a thin line, over teeth that was the same color of the moon that shown outside.

            I had only the time to glance in the mirror as I passed it by. There would be a time to fix my appearance later. My gut feeling was screaming at me to tell me something was wrong. I didn't know what, but I knew that-somehow-it was concerning the Potters.

            James Potter had been my friend since we had met at Hogwarts. I pictured his laughing countenance and felt a smile smile tugging at my lips. His thin, pale face with his huge deer-in-headlights eyes, framed by spectacles as big and ungainly as himself on the ground that rested on his large nose, swirled around my mind's eye.

            The thought of him made me recall my dream.

            Had it been about him?

            Yes.

            I quickened my pace. The sooner I made it to Peter's house, the better. If he was at home and all right, then all was good with the world. If he wasn't.

            Well, I didn't want to think about it.

            I grabbed my cloak off the coat hanger and swung the door open to the garage. There, propped up on its kickstand with all its glory, was my flying motorcycle. You could find no faster way to travel (except if you could apparate). This baby could push two hundred miles per hour easily.

            I leapt astride it and gunned the engine. It roared to life. The headlights flickered on. I pulled my wand from my pocket and pointed it at the garage door, whispering, "_Wingardium Leviosa_."

            The door slid up to the ceiling. I saw the one of the lights in the house across the street go on. It didn't matter just then. Nothing mattered more than the Potters' safety right now.

            I gunned the engines again. The motorcycle lurched forward. I sped down the driveway and narrowed my eyes against the pressing wind when the motorcycle leapt into the air.

            I pushed the motorcycle to fly as fast as it could go. Peter lived miles away from me, all the way across town. I watched the houses whipping by below, so quite, so peaceful. Had it been so at the Potters'?

            I spotted Peter's house and dived without slowing my speed. My cloak rippled like a shadow in the dark night. The hair that clung to my face in sweaty locks whipped back off my face. I landed the motorcycle ungracefully and squealed to a stop in front of his house.

            Lunging from the motorcycle, I raced to the front door. I hammered on it. "Peter!" I bellowed, "_Peter_!"

            There was no answer. Not a light inside flickered on.

            Something was wrong.

            I turned the knob. It was locked. Harassed, I touched it with my wand and commanded, "_Alohomara_!"

            With a click, the door swung open. I swept inside and quickly lighted the candles. "Peter! This isn't funny! _Wormtail_, answer me! It's Sirius!"

            The house remained silent.

            Something was wrong.

            I quickly searched the house. There was no sign of a struggle. Fear started to rise in my chest, but I suppressed it. Panic wasn't going to help right now. I would just go to the Potters' house. After all, Peter had told me where they now lived so I would be able to find their house.

            But an odd feeling tugged at the back of my mind.

            Something was wrong.

            I walked in long strides back to my motorcycle, leaving the door to Peter's house wide open. The same odd feeling-my instinct, I suppose-was telling me that Peter wasn't going to be returning home.

            I launched into the air to fly to the Potters' house. Closing my eyes, I could envision it now: a lovely little cottage colored maroon by its siding and black by its shingles, with white trimming along the peak of the roof and the windows. 

I didn't open my eyes for a long while. I could fly to James's house from anywhere in England with my eyes closed. Remus, my dear friend Moony, had dared me once to do it when we were eighteen and I had succeeded.

            My eyes snapped open when a howl pierced the night air. I glanced down and saw Rubeus Hagrid standing in the middle of the road. The gigantic grounds keeper was sobbing, from what I could not see. What he was doing there was a mystery to me. I followed his horrified gaze and found. found.

            My insides froze. All my senses went numb with what I saw. Tears pushed at the back of my eyes. I trembled. Overwhelming grief filled my entire being. "No." I whispered hoarsely, "_No_!"

            The Potter house had fallen, crashed to the ground. It was utterly destroyed. The lovely little cottage I had seen so clearly in my mind's eye had been reduced to rubble. This could only mean one thing.

            James Potter, Prongs, best friend, Marauder, incredible Quidditch player, Head Boy, A student, the seemingly invincible, was dead.

I landed the motorcycle so horribly I nearly killed myself. As I had been taught to do since the age of two, I forced all emotion and my sorrow away, off my face. Grieving could be done later. Right now, I had to see whether anyone was alive.

And then find Peter.

            I watched with hard eyes as Hagrid searched frantically through the wreckage. As he removed a large chunk of drywall, a wail split the night. My heart lifted and some of the pain ebbed away when I saw Hagrid pull an infant from the debris.

            "Hagrid!" I called, walking with a steady step over to him, "_Hagrid_!"

            Hagrid whipped around and relaxed when he saw it was only me. Tears streaked his dusty face. He cradled the infant in his huge arms, enveloping the tiny thing. My heart was pounding. Harry. Harry was alive.

            "Sirius," he said gruffly, wading over to me. He stopped in front of me. From the angle he stood, I could clearly see Harry's face. A gash, shaped to look like a lightning bolt, was etched on his forehead above his right eyebrow. Blood oozed slowly across the tyke's face in tiny rivulets.

            I moved closer. Harry blinked up at me with wide emerald eyes, eyes that mirrored Lily's. They were red-rimmed and bloodshot from crying. His nose was running. Hiccoughing, he giggled when he saw me and waved his tiny arms at me.

            I choked back a sob. He looked so much like James when James had been a baby. For that brief period of time I had lived at James's parent's house, his parents had shown me quite a few of his baby pictures (much to his embarrassment). Harry was identical to him but for his eyes.

            "What are you doing with him, Hagrid?" I asked, unable to keep the grief out of my voice.

            Hagrid sniffed. "I'm takin' him ter Dumbledore. He's teh live with his aunt an' uncle now. I found 'im in-in Lily's arms."

            "Take my bike, Hagrid," I whispered, an insuppressible tear sliding down my cheek, "I won't be needing it anymore."

            "Why?" He sounded surprised.

            I turned sharply, pulling my cloak tight about my shoulders. "I have business to take care of."

            "Sirius?"

            I stopped. "Yes, Hagrid?" I asked without turning around.

            "It's all righ', Sirius." He put a humungous hand on my shoulder. 

Now I couldn't stop the flood of tears flowing down my face. My sorrow spilled over. "No," I said quietly, "Nothing will ever be all right again."

            Like the father I never had, he pulled me into a one-armed bear hug. I uttered a gasp of surprise. Once I had regained my posture, I gently pushed his arm off. "Don't do that, Hagrid," I said, attempting a weak smile and failing miserably, "You'll mess up my hair."

            "Don' worry, Sirius," Hagrid said, "He was a friend teh us all. If yeh ever need anyone, jus' call me. An' Dumbledore, too. Don' forget yeh ol' friend Remus. We're here for yeh."

            "Thanks, Hagrid," I said, voice husky.

            "It's nothin'," Hagrid said gruffly, waving a hand in dismissal.

            I walked quickly down the street. It wouldn't do if he saw me shift into my Animagus form. When I was around the corner, I focused on the dog inside me.

            The transformation was fluid and took no longer than a second. With a small "pop," I became the shaggy, black dog I had been able to transform into since Fifth Year.

            I lifted my nose to the air and took a deep whiff. Scents I would never have been able to pick out with my human nose filled my enlarged nostrils.

            I could smell Peter from anywhere in the world. His scent always hung at the back of my sense of smell. At the moment, the smell of blood and dust filled my nostrils. I turned my head toward the destroyed Potters' residence. It smelled strongly of James, with a side of Lily and Harry. The back yard reeked of stag.

            I turned quickly and bounded down the street.

            Blood was going to flow tonight.

            The sun was barely on the rise when I caught Peter's scent, however. It led toward a muggle city. My eyes dilated when the familiar scent registered in my mind. Red-hot fury built in my chest as the full realization of what had happened hit me.

            How _could _he!?

            HOW COULD HE!?

            I threw my head back and howled. The hunt was on. My prey was before me. I would chase until I could run no more. Let him _try_ to get away!

            I dashed down the streets, following the scent. No longer was I weary from being up almost the whole night. Adrenaline and anger made me hyper-aware of everything around me.

            The scent was becoming fresher.

            I was coming closer.

            When the scent become so strong I knew he was but feet away, I slid back into my human form. I gripped my wand in a hand that trembled with rage. I stepped into the daylight, not caring that I wore full wizard's robes.

            I collected strange looks as I strode down the street. People murmured as I passed them by. My eyes roved the crowds for the man that had killed my best friend.

            He would pay.

            My skin was pale with anger. It burned in my eyes. The muggles I passed shirked away from me. I was almost sure that the air around me shimmered with the wrath I felt.

            Suddenly, I spotted him up ahead. He was walking quickly, pushing people out of the way if need be. I nearly exploded right there on the street. Using my common sense, however, I broke into a run.

            The muggles around me gasped and dove away. I held my wand so tightly now that I feared it might break. Peter heard my quick footsteps on the pavement and turned around. His pupils shrank and his eyes went huge. All his self-control broke and he fled.

            He didn't know these streets as well as I. I maneuvered him through the streets, eventually cornering him in an alleyway. Muggles gathered behind us and tittered wildly. The roaring in my ears was so loud that I couldn't hear what they said.

            "Are you happy now, Peter?" I asked in a deadly whisper, advancing on him with my wand.

            Peter backed into the wall. "S-S-S-Sirius, it's me!" he shrilled, eyes darting around for some means of escape.

            "Is it? _Is it_?" I demanded, "Are you the Peter that was my friend in school? Are you the Peter that ran around the grounds with me under the full moon? Are you the Peter that was an usher at _James's_ wedding?"

            Peter shuddered at James's name. He pressed against the wall with his hands behind his back. "S-S-S-Sirius, y-y-you d-d-don't know w-w-what it's l-l-like!"

            "I do, and I would have _died_ for him!" I cried, spittle flying from my lips.

            "I-I-I couldn't!" squeaked Peter.

            "Then consider this your recompense," I spat, raising my wand, "Your life for the two that died last night. I cried tears of blood for them all these years. Now it's your turn."

            Then, several things happened at once. As I opened my mouth to kill him, he gave a cry of pain as he cut his own finger off. Screaming, he said a spell that caused the whole street to explode. The last coherent words he said were, "SIRIUS BLACK, YOU KILLED LILY AND JAMES POTTER!" And, to protect himself from the blast and to be able to escape down the sewer, he shifted into his Animagus form-a rat, fitting for his personality.

            I stood in a stupor as rubble hit my face, gashing me in several places. One struck my cheek with a razor sharp edge and gouged the soft flesh under my eye. Blood beaded at the edge of the wound and trickled down my cheek like a tear.

            Suddenly, an insane laugh burbled up in my chest. I fell to my knees and tipped my head back to the sky, screaming with hysterical laughter. Oh, irony! Oh, cruel irony! Our childhood fantasy-come-true, our Animagus forms, had come back to haunt us!

            James, we helped him! We helped him become an Animagus! And now he comes back to show us his gratitude! He turned on us and killed you, James! He might as well have killed me, too! No one will believe me if I told them what really happened! Where will I go now? Why, to Azkaban, of course!

            Please, please let this be a horrible dream! I need to wake up! _Wake up_! James can't be dead! Lily can't be dead! Peter couldn't have done this! I can't be thrown to the Dementors! This can't be happening! _This can't be happening_!

            And yet, as my thoughts whirled around in chaos, I knew that it was true. The pain I felt was all too real. The throbbing, hollow sensation of loss in my chest was all too real. The hurt of betrayal, which left no physical mark, was too deep. 

            This was real. It was all happening.

            How could such a fate have befallen us? We were best friends. and now I'm alone. there will be no one to face Azkaban with me. not even Remus, oh, my dear friend Moony, could help me with this one.

            I had dug myself into too deep a hole this time.

            Now I am going to have to pay the price.

            The Ministry of Magic hit team arrived. They dragged me to my feet. I continued to laugh. This was all my fault. It was all my bloody fault. If I hadn't switched places with Peter, if we hadn't become Animagi, if we had never found out that Moony was a werewolf.

            A tear mingled with the blood and sweat on my face as they dragged me away. Lily, James, I've wept tears of blood for you through these years. I have protected you with my body and my magic, as you have done for me.

            We promised to always be there for each other.

            And now I'm weeping tears of blood again.

But this time you can't come back to save me.

            I'm sorry, James.

            I'm so sorry.

_"Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping. Hello, I'm still here, all that's left of yesterday." -Evanescence,_ "_Hello_"

**A/N: Aaah, depressing stuff. I hoped you liked it. I might write a poem for this. If you want one, holler in your reviews.  Thanks a bunch for reading!**

**~Padfoot**


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